Like Hell.


I’m trying like hell,
not to appear,
in front of your door,
I’m biting my nails,
to calm my nerves,
to distract me.

I’m trying like hell,
not to end each day,
the way I start out,
’cause the tears,
that fall in silence,
are too loud.

I’m trying like hell,
to forget you,
to move on to,
finding someone,
that I don’t have to,
say goodbye to.

I’m trying like hell,
not to wonder,
if you miss me, too,
or if you’ve found a love,
that’s all the things,
ours couldn’t be.

I’m trying like hell,
but I,
fucking miss you!
I really do.

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Categories: PoetryTags: , , , ,

44 comments

  1. Hugs. That’s all I have for you. But plenty of hugs. And love. ā¤

    Liked by 2 people

  2. šŸ˜¦ but don’t worry, probably time can heal. Best wishes, love and regards.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I hope peace finds you soon. Letting go and change can be heartbreaking and difficult. Your pain is palpable. Hopefully, giving voice to those feelings through your beautiful words is cathartic for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for your kind words Tosha. I really appreciate them.
      Yes, writing is a great relief for me and helps me to deal with anything life throws at me. What always makes my heart smile though is, when complete strangers from all kinds of different places are able to relate to whatever my heart spills. It’s incredible and having been able to reach someone’s heart is very rewarding. I guess bleeding hearts have to stick together in order to not to fall apart.
      Thank you! šŸ™‚

      Liked by 2 people

  4. I love how you start every paragraph with “Iā€™m trying like hell” because I’m doing the same damn thing with mine </3 better days to come for us

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I have big shoulders you can cry on anytime. Peace will come and you can really feel the power in this piece. Be well my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. This resonates strongly with me at present. Well written man.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Powerful words of loss and sadness. Peace and (((healing hugs))) to you. I hope you come through to the other side soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Reality is harsh :/

    Liked by 1 person

  9. No message, i think, will give you breeze nor can anything put you on eaze, one though can try enough, not to come to an end and seize. I wish my words were more but truth, i have no drama no show to put, but what i truly like to say, is you have a heart thats worth a stay.. Widen your heart to let it go, be a river that can only flow, try, my friend, to be what you are worth, raise your self and come forth.. This is what i say to myself..

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Hope you are doing alright, at least pain makes great poems like this one, but I wish you wouldn’t have to suffer šŸ˜¦ Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Thank you Malicia!
    I know, a bleeding heart can be quite powerful.
    Of course, suffering isn’t pleasant, however I think it’s an important part of life. We’ll just have to clench our teeth and pull through!
    Best wishes to you,
    prospermind. ā¤ šŸ™‚

    Like

  12. Sending you lots of Love!
    Everything will be ohkay one day! This is All you need to remember..
    I could relate to this..
    We try we do try each and e everyday.. Sometimes we fail and sometimes we do Succeed..
    So be sure that ‘One Day’ ‘Everything will Be Ohkay!’
    Have faith and Have Courage to Face Life!
    šŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Have you made it to China yet or are you still in Germany?

    Liked by 1 person

    • How very kind of you to ask. šŸ™‚
      I’m still in Germany, I’m leaving in a little less than three weeks, I’m almost all set and ready for China. Organizational that is.. Emotional not so quite. I miss this love of mine so deeply already. I can’t help it. It takes absolutely all the strength I have, not to write or call, to just leave it at our last and final goodbye. I think about our last words, about how it felt to turn around and walk away, about how heavy my feet had become in that moment, about how it felt like I had just been punched directly into the heart and about how I immediately started to cry the second I turned around and walked away lasting ’til today… It hurts like hell!
      I hope, that China will bring me the distraction I need to free my head and heart from these heavy chains of this tragic love story..

      Liked by 1 person

      • This reply is so raw still. The words you use so beautiful, yet convey the hurt you experience so deeply!
        I feel for you. I hope you find comfort soon.
        XO

        Liked by 1 person

      • You will see yourself through this tragic love story. You can people watch in China. Hell that will distract you the whole time you are there. What is their population. Heck in the billion I think. That is a lot of people to watch. I can be your social organizer. lol Yes I know how you feel. I walked away from a tragic love story as well many years ago. I look back and it was for the best although that little movement inside of me tells me I will never forget that person. Off to people watching you go and my email is thespiritkeepers@yahoo.com in case you can’t get on wordpress. Be well.

        Liked by 1 person

  14. Just started becoming active on.y blog wread your poems….brother you all right?

    Liked by 1 person

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