Missing you.


I’m sitting here,
drinking beer, beer,
and more beer,
as I’m texting you,
I’m clueless,
about what to do,
I wish to tell you,
what’s on my mind,
I start to write,
but then I pause,
and hit rewind.

I start anew,
but then again,
my words restrain,
another sip,
my mind slips,
I wish you were,
here with me,
so that I,
could tell you why,
you occupy,
my heart and mind,
but then again,
I’d pause,
and hit rewind.

I don’t know why,
I even try,
to say out loud,
what stands between,
’cause I’m afraid,
we won’t survive,
this truth revealed,
so I decide,
to keep it sealed,
again and again.

Meanwhile I cracked,
another bottle,
you went away,
about an hour ago,
I’m still staring,
at the screen,
reading through your words,
again and again.

Offline,
is what it says,
you had to go,
but I wish you’d know,
how much,
just how much,
I’m missing you.

Oh, I wish you’d know,
how much you matter,
how much you mean,
and how much,
is left unsaid,
behind the screen.


About this poem:

Originally written in June 2015.Β Now part of this week’s #ThrowbackThursday.

Lately I’ve been wondering, if it’s possible to truly recover from a broken heart. I think that our hearts can heal, but only to a certain point and that there is always going to be that little broken piece deep down inside of us we just can’t fix..

Here’s to us guys, the broken ones.

Cheers,

Prospermind.

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Categories: PoetryTags: , , , , , ,

54 comments

  1. Reblogged this on Gh0stpupp3t's Realm and commented:
    Great poem

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Reblogged this on Becoming Confucius and commented:
    This is how the heart speaks.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ah, yes… THAT fear.
    I know it too well. What makes us *not* say these words? Fear that the feelings aren’t reciprocated, fear that we will lose the person because it’ll scare them. Fear that things will change for the worst…
    In my case, fear that my mind is playing tricks on me like it did 20+ years ago when I met my ex.
    And yet: if we move ahead, maybe our feelings will be reciprocated. And if they are, then everything will change, but to become so much better!
    Why do we fear change?
    Or is it we’d rather keep our daily (weekly/monthly) fix and take the pain of them going away, than risk suffering from them going away for good?
    Sigh! It’s a complicated thing, this love business! And yet it is so simple too!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, exactly! Those are the reasons!!
      While reading your post on flaws just now, I shared the thrill with you of telling the Dancer what was on your mind. I was filled with suspense!
      Hats off to you for being so brave and just say it out loud! You know what? I will do that, too! Maybe I won’t unleash the full weirdness of myself on this person, but just a little bit. Piece by piece. Testing the waters. πŸ˜€
      Oh, you’re asking a lot of difficult questions Dawn.. Fear seems to be the right thing to blame, it stunns us and disables us to move forward.
      Ohhhh love, you remain a mystery! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      • Ok, I have some Internet access for a little while with no one looking over my shoulder… so I’ll tackle your comment πŸ™‚
        I’m glad that you could feel the suspense. I could very much feel it too! Even though this man knows a lot about me, there is always more weirdness to uncover, if only because I haven’t uncovered it myself. So we *have to* share only piece by piece… Whatever we are comfortable sharing in that particular moment. πŸ™‚
        Yes, fear is a big obstacle. Yet, when you think about it, if we live without being ourselves fully… are we really living, or simply existing? So isn’t it better to share our weirdness and hope for the best, no matter if things change?
        Sometimes, I’m thinking what is going on with me at the moment is a way fate found to shake things up a little to make things move faster, one way or the other. I don’t know yet which way things are going to go, but I should find out soon enough (within a couple of weeks, maybe days) rather than longer term (a couple of months)

        Liked by 1 person

      • Reading this again tonight, as my lover just left my place.
        I think it is safe to say that telling him these things that worried me, then later on telling him I love him… it was change for the better. Sharing my weirdness and being accepted for who I am is a great feeling.
        And I’m still struggling with telling him some things directly. When that’s the case, I share my writing and it helps, because he pays attention, he hears me and lets me know he did. Then shows me when he sees me again.
        I hope your broken heart is healing. I think it does heal (the broken heart I had when I was a teen doesn’t hurt any more, and it did hurt like hell for many months, probably sent me into my ex’s arms too).
        I think you don’t necessarily notice when it heals, and that the healing involves a reshuffling of the geography of your heart. Or your mind. Same difference? But it does heal.
        Xo

        Liked by 1 person

  4. There’s this rhythm to your writing that’s so calming.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Very good!!! I really liked it!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. this does it; says it like it is. love, who needs it!?

    Liked by 1 person

  7. That’s why I leave my phone at home when I go to the nearest bar πŸ˜›

    Liked by 1 person

    • Leave the phone?! Pure madness! How am I supposed to call anyone and tell them my life story or how are others supposed to find me?! I see it already… aaaaand suddenly he woke up somewhere in France! haha πŸ˜€

      And sometimes the nearest bar is in your kitchen! πŸ˜‰

      Liked by 1 person

      • LOL πŸ˜›
        Well, I’m not a phone-addict. My phone is muted often, hidden on the bottom of my backpack or just forgotten at home… So, please, tell me your amazing stories here πŸ™‚
        And yes, yes, yes! Kitchens are the best bars, night clubs and dance-floors forever!

        Liked by 1 person

      • I don’t consider myself a phone addict, though I do most of my WordPress reading and networking over my dumb smartphone.
        I never leave the house without my phone, not because I need something to look at while being in public, no. I’m still one of “those” people who likes looking at a strangers face and brighten their day with a smile and on some days I just like to observe what happens around me.
        Oh yes, one thing I always need my phone for is for quickly writing down an idea. It’s always tricky with spontaneous ideas, they tend to escape the mind as quickly as they came.
        And I’m sorry, but sometimes I just NEED to listen to that one song stuck in my head in order to get it out of my system or to entertain myself during some situations, so I can pretend I’m in a movie or something and start grinning broadly all of a sudden and confuse people.
        Hmm.. so maybe I am an addict?! A slave to today’s portable connectivity? Aah what the hell? I’m a phone addict – soul searching conplete for today! πŸ˜€
        Don’t worry, you’ll be the first one to hear of my adventures. πŸ˜‰

        Yes! Don’t forget to mention that they’re danger hazards as well. Give me a knife and any sort of vegetable to slice and there will be a 20% chance I’ll chop off my finger. The curse of hungry cooks! I love my kitchen! πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oh… Yes! Ideas are timid like butterflies…
        I’m a conservator in this matter. I use a notepad and a pen for catching them πŸ˜›

        Oi! Your fingers!! Call the doctor! 😯

        Liked by 2 people

  8. Put a melody to this poem… this can be a perfect song… you somehow made me cry on your poetry… been there before… and I hope and pray you will be able to surpass all storms. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, no! Please, don’t cry qurikyshine, shine instead!
      I’m touched my poetry had such an impact on you, this is more I could even ask for. All we want is to share a piece of ourselves with the world, however when some stranger out there is able to relate to what you’ve created, it’s the most rewarding and touching feeling.
      Thank you, I’m glad we’ve met and we’re able to connect to one another, because like I said before: I adore your blog and the things you write are speaking to me as well. Harmony. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Hey while I was just going through your blog I just saw someone asked you that from where do you get these photographs which are actually beautiful and sink well with your poems but now I can’t find that comment so can you please tell me from where do you get them??

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I have a new favourite! πŸ˜€
    Absolutely love it, so real!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. How do u feel;would you rather forget the experience of heartbreak as a way of healing or remember it as a way of learning ?

    Liked by 1 person

    • I wouldn’t want to forget it, no. Otherwise what’s the point of it all, if I don’t learn and grow, but rather start from the same point over and over again?
      It is painful, sometimes, not all the time. However I still treasure the entire experience and I’m glad that I have it, I wouldn’t want to miss it.

      I don’t know if this makes sense, but I’m just not able to express it in a better way right now. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      • Actually this is relatable .Even though the experience is hurtful ,indescribable pain,growth always takes place .I feel that most of my own growth stems from painful situation and that is how I am finding myself .
        This poem is beautiful ,I cherish it .I cherish your words through my perception of it and experiences that I relate it to .I am your fan .
        #prospermind

        Liked by 2 people

    • Oh, great question by the way!!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Also .”pause and rewind” .I know you have your perception of what it means since it’s your emotion put into writing .I think(hope) that is a reference to a song that you are listening to that reminds you of the muse of the poem .if I am right ,would u mind telling me which song ?and if it is not .which song would u be listening to if this was the case .

        Liked by 1 person

      • I have to admit it’s been a while since I wrote this, though I still remember how I felt writing this, I don’t remember if this specific line was a reference to a song. Hmm.. if I had to chose a song that I would be listening to writing this, I think it would be “Nothing compares to you”, because this song starts in a similar way as this poem, both in terms of lyrics and emotions.
        Thanks for such an engaging and thoughtful comment. I hope you don’t mind the delayed response.
        Best wishes to you,
        Prospermind. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      • ‘nothing compares to you’ by O’Connor or?
        I could never mind a delayed response .

        Like

  12. love this! communicating what the heart has to say is almost impossible sometimes

    Liked by 1 person

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